UPDATE

I'd like to comment on my earlier post...

Dear America,
How cool is it that my dear friends can't get married because they are both dudes? But, this chick can marry a rollercoaster? That's messed up America. Just messsed up bro. Chew on that one for a minute...
Yours truly..Cara

Come Again?!

In the news...

"A 33-year-old woman from Pennsylvania suffers from a condition where people develop sexual feelings towards objects. As a result she has fallen in love with a rollercoaster and it's a fairly long distance relationship because she lives about 80 miles from the ride. The woman says she rides the coaster 300 times a year."

I could say a lot of things, but, I won't. I don't really need to, do I? I hope they have a long happy life together.

I Must Betch

A few things that I've been cracking up about today...I laugh because that's all I can do. Facebook. Please don't update your Facebook status with super personal things. For example, I don't want to know about your ovaries, "fun" prego facts, or how you hate your family. I'm sure the cyst is painful, your boobs are tender, and your mother in law makes you cry. OMG. Don't make me read about it.... My girlfriend whom is pregnant, I want to KNOW ABOUT EVERYTHING with her because that's what we do. Duh. Not my Facebook friends. Also, Facebook quizzes. I feel bad about the quiz. First because I never do them, so, am obviously lame. Second, I do not need to know what type of lovemaking you prefer...what kind of lover you are, etc. I feel forced to read the description then I look at your profile pic staring at me...probably passionately because Facebook says so right there...you're a hot passionate lover. Maybe I just shouldn't click on HOME, but, I can't help it...I like to read the rest of the updates, I do. Oh, ga. I gotta go.

Flawless Diva

Jenny Jen Lopez looks glorious. Love this dress...love it. Let me borrow it. Let me borrow your dress...

On The AP

Good news for Amy Poehler fans! She is making two appearances on Saturday Night Live for Weekend Update on Sept. 17 and 24, Thursday and Saturday editions of the segment. I mean, I must say when she rapped about Sarah Palin 10 months pregnant and shot that mother f'in moose, I died. Twice.

Today

I was driving through the Avenues in the SLC...I like to think I live there, but technically I live in University. Whatever. Anyway, as I was driving through, mouth agape at the houses and the ladies in their yards tending to their rows and rows of rose bushes, I saw it...there she was...just beautiful. I literally stopped in the middle of the intersection to let the cute lady owner walk her across the street. The cute lady owner, afraid I would get smashed hanging out in the intersection waved me on, but, I just sat in my car and rolled down the window. "Please! Go ahead! I love your puppy! I want one so bad..." She obliged my creepy request and walked her precious puppy across the street as I dreamed of playing with my own little one someday. I have a problem. Sometimes I want to wake in the middle of the night, pack all of our stuff up, and move us to a location that would allow us to get a puppy. It might work. Maybe I could tell Lee the place was on fire and we had to move immediately...I had just enough time to pack everything! I've lost my mind totally...to the dogs.

Just Because

She's fly. Hot shoes. Looks so...COOL.

A Few Days Late

I know the After The Rose Special was a few days ago...but, here goes: Poor Reid. Feel sorry for him and his cute twinkly eyes. Kyptin seemed like such an afterthought...was he even in a two minute segment? Next Bachelor? Or Reid? Or Michael Stagliano + twin bro? I was surprised that Jillian and Ed have only spent 5 nights apart! Slut! Ha, jk. I didn't think they were allowed to see each other until the season was over? Guess that has changed. I supposed they are cute together. She loves his ball-shorts, so, that's a good start...it's like the shorts only a mother could love. (Although, Lee does have these red shorts now that I think about it...) I hope these kids do make it because in the end, I'm a sucker for love. And all things sappy, so, cheers to you two. Oh, PS-WTF on what Jillian was wearing?! It didn't even fit her? The outfit was f minus...and she has extensions. So Hollywood on us now. jk.

Gasp

Heidi isn't going to go totally nudey patooty in Playboy. Uh, okay. Great. Well, Heidi, I'm not sure that it is the most pure thing for you to be in Playboy. Just a tad hypocritical, don't you think? Just saying...

Dear Emile,

You are the jam. Make another movie so I can watch it. Love, Cara

More To LOVE

Did anyone watch this show? I made Lee suffer through it, and, I must say, there was a fair amount of suffering. I can't decide what I think about this show. Why don't they just throw a few 'plus' size ladies on a regular dating show and see how it shakes out? Why is there a whole separate show? Really FOX? Is it necessary to show them mingling at the cocktail party about what their favorite foods are? I feel dirty watching it because what are the reactions as other people sit at home and watch? Are they making fun of these people? Are you relating? Ahhh! It sort of drives me a skosh batty. I don't know what to think! I can't decide if I should be celebrating these brave women who came on a dating show to show that "real woman are a size 14..." or if I should be appalled and confused. I think I'm a little of all 3.

AM Agenda

After The Rose...and More To Love...chattin to do. Til the morn.

Inglorious Basterds

The premiere in Berlin. Flawless. Diane Kruger always looks perfectly coiffed...and Brad isn't too shabby either.

OMG...WEEERRKKKK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPeIVJmZRWM&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fperezhilton%2Ecom%2Fpage%2F2%2F&feature=player_embedded

Haha. Check out this YOUTUBE clip. He does the robot, brushes the haters off...and throws dollar dollaaa bills around. Awesome.

Really? No Way!

I mean, is anyone surprised by this? According to the NY Post, P Diddy, Daddy, Puffy Man went out to dinner the other night to Serafina with a friend. Of course Diddy has an entourage and his table was surrounded by three burly bodyguards -- all of them wearing diamond-studded earrings just like Combs. Of course, duh. I'd check em though to make sure they weren't CZ's. The best part is, his table faced south, where a few blocks away there's a gigantic billboard promoting his new fragrance, 'Sean John -- I Am King.' Which, is extra awesome because he was eating while staring at himself.

Woaah!

He's done it before, but here is Christian Bale super skinny on the set of his new movie. He has to beef up to film Batman soon...how fun would that be? (to gain weight on purpose I'm saying...)

ED!

So, Ed won. Of course I was wrong, what's new? From now on, I'm betting people money on the opposite of what I really think will happen. A few things I'd like to chat about...my lovable Reid, who apparently was out all night partying and then took a taxi to propose to Jill. (that's what her lovers call her) She let him propose, then said no. Was there any question that she may say yes? No, there wasn't. I was surprised she let Kiptyn go...I mean he was a circus freak...did anyone see how many 'ab pockets' (that's the technical term) he had? I think I counted about 35 that were visible on my tv. Well, it was uneventful to me really. Kiptyn is for sure the next Bachelor...and Ed does have a girlfriend in Chicago. Jilly. Does anyone else think her cousin looks like that crazy chick from last season that was obsessed with Jason? I think Ed and Jillian might have a chance if he isn't a closet famewhore. If he is, there may be trouble...after all, who can't resist a dude who shows that much thigh....and even a little ball?

More Set Pics...

J'ADORE. Blair and Chuck looking DASHING on the set of GG. Sigh.

Those D-Bags From Earlier

Sorry for burning your eyes.

That's Right, She Picks One TONIGHT

The Bachelorette picks her man this eve. Who do you think it will be? I'm putting my money on Kiptyn. Why? I'm guessing him (and I'm usually wrong) because he seems the least interested in her...and it's a woman thing, for that reason alone she may just pick him. Who knows? All sorts of rumors are swirling...Ed has a girlfriend currently (post-show) in Chicago (although rumored to have been dating her prior, I knew he wasn't totally kosher)...Kiptyn is the next Bachelor. However, also rumored that Mike Stagliano AND his twin are the next Bachelor(s)?! Who is the better choice? How about someone NEW? As long as it's not Jake, I have a chance at watching next season. I like Reid the best, but does she deserve Reid? I don't know. Reading other Internet blogs and comments I also heard that Oprah reached out to her about doing a fashion advice show? Huh, really? Who knows. Who do you think will be the chosen one?

Spending Money

I really didn't want to comment on this, but Jon Gosselin has got me twisted. Ladies, WTF? Why are you giving him attention? I don't care if you're a tabloid reporter or a 22 recent graduate (with a degree, use it). That's no excuse. Let's set the mood, shall we? He has 8 children with a woman I'm sure isn't going to invite you over for Thanksgiving for the 'sake of the children.' He is fat, bloated, and probably will eventually develop chronic nose bleeds from his new blow habit. (I totally made that up, obviously) He wears Ed Hardy (small tear) and is telling reporters he wants to put his kids in a future ad campaign for E.H.? NO! You can usually judge a man by his last relationship...uh, that didn't turn out so well? I'm just...bewildered. If someone understands the sexy allure of this love machine, please explain. Also, he recently had dinner in SouthHampton with Jill Zarin (shame on you Jill! What would your mother say?!) and Michael Lohan. Nuff said.

Happy Mooonnnddaayyy

Where did the weekend go? Happy Monday...here is a pic of baby otters. Aren't they cute? Why not.

Well, Most Of The Time

I retract my earlier statement. Kate, oh Kate. I understand you can't always look glam, duh, but, really? The only feasible excuse for this is if there is a campfire out of the shot, and a huge bottle of red wine.

Katie Danced?

If you saw Katie Holmes pay tribute to Judy Garland last night on So You Think You Can Dance, sorry Judy, first of all. (Did you watch Liza?) Here's the thing...Katie Holmes is beyond gorg. She's beauuuutiful. Her dancing nor her singing wasn't bad, I thought it was okay. It's something about her that makes the performance lack...well, luster. There is no spark. She looks like she's counting in her head a bit. (and leg up...and look sexy...and weeeeee in the air) If anything, I feel she is very talented but needs the programming chip removed from her brain. A meltdown, or hitting the paparazzi with an umbrella...whatever...is highly recommended from me. That's all.

Real Friendsy's

How pretty is Jessica Schzor? Beautiful. So pretty. Megan Fox doesn't have anything on her. PS-Why is Megan Fox considered so hot? She looks like a porn star. I'm just saying...(not that there is anything wrong with porn stars, again, just saying)

He Is Cute

I understand being fulfilled by your work, blah blah. But T.R, you left your 14 million dollar paycheck to pursue other intersts. I mean, that's 14 million dollars to be on a sweet show and wear scrubs all day. WEAR SCRUBS ALL DAY. Amazing. Regardless, he does look cute on the new Entertainment Weekly cover.

Dramzzz

I think during this scene Serena has just told Blair that she is carrying Chucks bow-tie wearing man-child. You think? Gossip Girl is underway for the 3rd season...I wish it would get here already. I have a problem, I know. Plus, Blair's shoes must not be in the shot? Or this is a run-thru? Is she wearing UGGS?! Blair doesn't wear those! And, what is that trick from Privileged doing? Did she get lost? Stay away from Nate!

Miami Social

Just watched the first episode. It reminds me of a twisted FRIENDS. It's Friends with bisexuals, gays, divorcee's, fake boobs, and super special tans. I'm semi-obsessed. Mainly because while watching you can't decide if you are watching some species yet to be discovered, or you are wishing you were born without eyeballs. It's perfectly trashy. The drama is already delicious. You can always tell when the people on reality shows aren't "acting" and these characters are unto themselves, their own characters. Watch it. If you can stomach all the superficial crap, this is your new favorite show.

And More

"Bravo and Evolution Media are ready to begin production on season five of The Real Housewives of Orange County, the original version in the franchise. For the new season, housewives Tamra Barney, Lynne Curtin, Vicki Gunvalson, Jeana Keough and Gretchen Rossi will be joined by new housewife, Alexis Bellino, a 32-year old stay-at-home mom and socialite who originally hails from Hannibal, MO."

Sounds good to me. New housewives on the OC are a must because everyone is so mean to her. Which, is drama-tastic. Bring on the new one, you poor poor thing! Here she is...looking like she'll fit in perfectly with Tamra and Vicki. Oy. Vey.

Housewives Stuff

Rumor has it that Bethenny Frankel is getting her own show on BRAVO. So, she will no longer be a Housewife! HUH? No Jill and Bethenny danger-in around together?! I don't know how I feel about this...happy she has her own show, but will miss her making fun of everybody else in the NYC.

Holy Bachelorette Balls

Uhhhh hopefully tivo's didn't cutoff at the end, but, was that dreamy Reid with a ringo in his hand? I don't think she picks him, but, still exciting that he comes back. Love that. The reunion show is blah. Whatevs. She wore mango mango and talked about getting toe surgery. Okay Jillian. Sure. Great. David is a wackadoo, duh, and Jesse didn't talk enough...or bring me any wine. Wes didn't show, LAME. Show your crappy face Wes...and your creepy widows peak and bad shirts. The "blooper" reel actually made me like Jillian again...she was funny. We need a FUNNY bachelorette. Until next week, I will wait...and I'm not even going to guess who she picks because I AM ALWAYS WRONG. Oh, and if Jake is the next Bachelor they will surely need to rename it "The Douche Bag." That was mean, sorry. Jk, kinda.

Stuff This Week

Tonight's Premieres:
ABC: Dating in the Dark at 10p
NBC: The Wanted at 10p
VH1: The T.O. Show at 10p (have you seen the naked promo magazine spread? huh)

Tuesday, July 21 Premieres:
FOX: Hell's Kitchen at 8p
TLC: Restorer Guy at 7p; Real Estate Pros at 730p; Moving Up at 8p
ABC Family: Ruby & the Rockits at 830p
Discovery Channel: The Colony at 10p

Wednesday, July 22 Premieres:
TLC: Toddlers & Tiaras at 10p (oh jesus)

Thursday, July 23 Premieres:
The Style Network: How Do I Look? at 9p

And the Bachelorette tonight...ugh...We will be forced to see Wes again. Oh, I mean BOYCOTT.

I'm Sorry

This bathing suit is disgusting. It looks like she needs a wax.

Here Ready To ROLLLL...

I'm back, my friends are hitched, and I'm getting caught up...there is much to chat about! Postings in full swing shortly...

Next Few Days...

My postings will be rare, if any! I'm headed to the wedding of one of my favorite people on this earth. I can't wait to see someone I love so so happy. And laugh A LOT. Have a good week all. xo

Recap Has Me Blue

I cannot believe Jillian got rid of my dreamboat Reid. What is her DAMAGE?? Did she eat some bad huli huli barba-quey? JILLIAN! I know this isn't going to be a popular vote but I do not jive with Ed. Something about him I do not like. Is it boogers? First of all, he probably couldn't get his love groove on because he needed a sweater. For his balls. Nice green coochy cutters Ed man. And Kiptyn, he's fine, he just orders banana cream pie cheesecake ice cream to feel exciting in life. Personal opinion. Oy vey. What am I going to do with this show? Bottom line, I'm way to into it, it's not appropriate...Reunion time next week. I think during the finale Kiptyn tells her he's not sure if he's ready...or Ed confesses that he has erectile dysfunction..get it? ED has E.D....I knew it! It's in the stars! This just in: Apparently she's super happy and in love as I write this, so, what do I know?

For Real

Ali Landry, former Mario Lopez wife (for 2 minutes) and Dorritos chick in her bikini this weekend. With her babe, Estella. Personally, I think she might be top 5 hottest chicks on the planet. I'm not even jealous because she's ridiculous. Way to go AC. Give me your bathing suit.

Awwww, Lovely

Meet Jon Gosselin's girlfriend, IU alumni, and frequent partier. She's great. I just love love your eyebrows, who does that to you? I'd consider legal action. Seriously.

Panic

Real World Cancun. I'm panicking because I don't like it..yet. Am I getting too old? I promised myself that I'd be 65 watching Real World 2,302 Kazakhstan and loving it. But, these kids just aren't doing it for me. I have hope because the Challenges (Duels, Infernos, whatev) are still amazing, but The Real World isn't entertaining me. Lesbian hookup? Yawn. Catty girls? Puh-lease. A guy named Bronne? Attention piqued. The only good action was when Bronne hooked up with a chicks mom at the club. That was enjoyable. And, they do have jobs this season, thank God. I'm holding out hope and will continue to watch, but, it better get good...we are already 3 episodes in and there is nothing too noteworthy. Please Real World, you are in Cancun, make it happen.

Quote Of Yesterday

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I Guess 7 Wasn't So Cool...

I posted about Jackson being 'all about the sevens' earlier this week. But, alas, he's also bout a 5! Check out the 5 facts:

**Jackson's talent was discovered when he was 5 years old.

**He came to fame as a member of the Jackson 5 and he planned a series of 50 concert dates in London, England, as part of a comeback tour before he died on June 25 at the age of 50.

The psychic Glynis McCants says on CNN.com "Five is the number for drama, and it was in his life his whole life."

So there you have it...I'm just solving mysteries on the daily. Wonder where the 40 Xanax pills fit into the 5 or 7? Huh. Sadness.

Fun Friday Fact

An old law on the books in New York State: "A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket." My friends in NYC are going to be upset, but, what can you do? Lobby for equal ice cream rights or something...yeah..

Give Me Your SHOES

Give me your shoes betch. Shoes. Omg, shoes. I love your shoes Emma Watson. There are plenty of websites dedicated to "what celebrities wore" but it seems they focus on Lauren Conrad and Audrina Dead Eyes. Uh, those aren't celebrities first of all. Hot shoes Emma. Nice work.

More Proof

That Natalie Portman and I are sisters. She is going to be a guest judge on Top Chef! Bravo dream sequence montage playing in my head...love this.

All Apologies

I know my blogging has been crappy. I'll change, I will. I'll get better...promise.

Real Housewives Updates

This from a media report this morning:

Bravo is carrying on with its docu-series The Real Housewives of New York City, renewing the series for a third season to air next year. Production will begin this fall and casting for more Big Apple housewives is currently happening. The Real Housewives of New York City is produced by Shed Media U.S. and Jennifer O'Connell and Nick Emmerson serve as executive producers.

Uh, WHAT?! New Housewives?! They can't! Leave it be! I like it how it is...complete with Kelly. She's ridiculous and I love to watch her bi polar disorder unfold right before my very eyes. Don't mess with a good thing, unless, it's simply adding to the drama, that's okay.

**Also, it is rumored that the casting call was put out for 2 new housewives because Jill and Ramona want bigger contracts, more money. Oy vey.

**Real Housewives of Atlanta starts July 30th

**Bethenny is engaged!!!!!!! Bethenny Hoppy! Well, I heard that she is...?

Love

I mean, I just love her. I think we are sisters. More than likely anyway.

Some Shiz Bout TP

CNN has an entire article dedicated to toilet paper. Which, made me think how grateful I am for such a thing. And tissues...and paper towels...all things that make us truly wonderful and wasteful. Even at a young age I thought that it was a skosh ridiculous that my parents had 3-4 paper towel rolls in our kitchen at once. The more towels, the less swiveling my dad had to do? Not sure. Ancient Greeks used clay and stone; Romans, sponges and salt water as toilet paper U.S. man designs aloe-infused sheets of manila hemp dispensed from boxes in 1857. Ha. That just sounds funny. Give me an aloe-infused sheet for my bum please! After Johnny Carson joked on TV about toilet paper shortage, people bought out stores U.S. buys $6 billion of toilet tissue annually -- more than any other nation in the world. Huh. I believe that.

Um, WOAH

I know that some of you are growing weary with the Michael Jackson coverage. (myself included, Larry King has been all MJ since the 25th) Anyway, check out these "coincidences!" A little shocking times seven!

Michael Jackson signed his will on 7/7/02.

Michael Jackson's memorial was on 7/7/09 ... exactly 7 years after the will was signed.

Michael Jackson's two biggest hits -- "Black & White" and "Billie Jean" -- were each #1 for 7 weeks.

Michael Jackson's three biggest albums -- "Thriller," "Bad" and "Dangerous" -- each produced 7 top 40 hits.

Michael Jackson was the 7th of 9 children.

Michael Jackson was born in 1958 ... 19 + 58 = 77

Michael Jackson died on the 25th ... 2 + 5 = 7

Michael Jackson has 7 letters in his first and last name.

My Daily Candy Is Not Skittles

Since I'm trying to lose a few elbees before I'm in a wedding next weekend, I guess I have to survive on eye candy alone. Whatevs. Here's some candy.