Come Again?

Investigation Discovery is debuting a new series Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?, (no, really, that's what it is called) revealing stories of supposed happily married men and women who uncover shocking secrets about their spouses. From bigamists to bank robbers, each half-hour episode tells real-life first-person stories of doomed marriages beginning August 25 at 10p. Oh my. This sounds like an amazing idea for a relationship. What in the world?!

Two Of My Favorite TV Actors

Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) and John Slattery (Sexy Roger, Mad Men)

Good Job DC!

Drew Carey lookin good. He premiered his 70 pound slimmer frame last night that he reached by diet and exercise. Such a novel concept y'all.

Project Runway Back Tonight

The premiere of Season 8 tonight. What do you think of Heidi's white harem pants? I think they look fine on her. On me? A weird diaper.

Staub Me

Uh, alright this is a serious matter. Is Danielle from Real Housewives of New Jersey serious? Where is Child Protective Services? Is she existing in real life? Also, did she say she was 48? Her face is pulled so tight, I think she looks 78. The crazy factor really weighs a face down regardless of all the skin you take from it. Anyway, not the point. I don't know what is worse the fact that she is so delusional she thinks she is a great mom, or, the fact that it's so obvious her girls don't like each other or her and will or are developing serious issues. I mean, as a girl you are going to dislike your mom at some point in time. But, forcing an 11 year old to sing a song that Danielle OBVIOULSY wrote, is just wrong. "We are sissteerrs and we lovve each other, and my mom is the greatest human on the plaaaaanettt...buyy her sex taaaapeee"...She should've just put that in there while she was at it. What a trainwreck. Also, I love that the ex-husband showed up so he could see all of his money she spent. (insert fake Danielle crying) Maybe instead of a Sweet Sixteen you should hire someone to clean up your dog poop, or make some repairs so you can sell that house? Just an idea. Speaking of saving money, Joe bought Teresa some Jennifer Lopez yellow diamond for their 10th anniversary. This guy is hilarious. I always feel like he's going to bust out in a "Fuurrr get bout itttt ey?! Let's just go to eh, the eh, Bucca di Beppo!" Those two. Breeding and raising the next cast members of The Jersey Shore. They need to add a few more Housewives to this cast. Next week Kim G and Danielle seem to fight it out, perfect. Staying tuned...

New Couple Alert

Jk. Michelle Trachtenberg and Tracy Morgan. Random.

Oh No, Not Again

The skort is apparently all the rage this summer. That's right, the SKORT. The skort just takes me to a place of chubby thighs, over-permed hair, big dangle mismatched earrings, and a sexy little thing called a head-gear. Whew. I was, uh, stunning back in the early 90's, which is also the last time I've worn a skort. I think this skort is cute, but, I'm afraid just by putting on one I could turn into that hot mess I was circa 1992. I can't go back to that place, I just can't.

I Would Take Either?

Who has the best bikini bod? Brroklyn vs Jen. Go.

What In The World?

Ange has been all over promoting her now-showing flick, Salt. But, check out her HANDS! And her arms! It's vein-a-rama! What in the world A? Are you so skinny, your, uh, veins show? Something else is going on here. Just an educated guess.

A Few Weeks

Since we've had a pic of my favorite couple. Josh and Diane leaving San Diego..

Mad Men

Did you watch the premiere of Mad Men Sunday night? Nothing too exciting happened. Seemed to be setting up the show for the rest of the season. Betty is becoming more and more unlikable. Need more Joan please. And more Roger.

His Body Is A TattooLand

Sorry, bad joke.  But when did John Mayer get a sleeve? That's a whole lotta tat...if you look real close you can see an outline of J Simps. Just kidding.

That Time Again-New Summer, Old Summer...

Almost fall. New shows will start. Summer shows will end. How did it get to be almost August?

Tonight's Premieres:
NBC: Breakthrough with Tony Robbins at 8p
FOX: Masterchef at 9p
DIY Network: Rescue Renovation at 830p
A&E Network: Growing Up Twisted at 10p
Discovery Channel: The Colony at 10p

Tonight's Finales:
Discovery Channel: Deadliest Catch at 9p
TLC: The Little Couple at 1030p

Nice Work Kate

This is Louis Dowler. He is Kate Winslet's new boyfriend. Wonder what he does? Probably doesn't matter.

Spotted

Here is Eric Roberts (Emma's dad, Julia's bro) and Jeremy London during downtime at Celebrity Rehab. These two are roomies.

The Bachelorette

I haven't been keeping up completely with The Bachelorette but I finally had a chance to watch the overnight romantical (usually a volcano exploding montage) dates. Okay, huh, let's see. First I'd like to chat Frank. Ali really did care for him. Let's remember, she is NOT AN ACTRESS. Those tears were real. Although, I'd probably cry if Frank dumped me too. For Nicole. Ouch. I kept wondering if they were watching it together, addressing their wedding invitations...Please Join Frank & Nicole, with their parents...bleh. Moving on. Oh, Roberto. He sure is pretty isn't he? Too bad there are Disney cartoons, muppet babies, and Crest white strips floating around in his brain all day. My favorite part was when he said "It was an island shaped heart..." Uh, no, Roberto...it's a heart-shaped island. But, you're cute, so, I'll let it slide. It's obvious they just want to be alone. Now to Chris. He's so lovable isn't he? Another question: How come all they do is close mouth kiss all the time? Do you think they have to? Just curious. It's kinda weird right? Anyway, The Men Tell All is on tonight. I don't think anyone interesting shows up. Ali is on the OK! cover this week proclaiming how she lost 10 lbs. Did you see it? Just in case I'll put it up here...that bathing suit is like going on the overnight dates with her. It's so...uh...little.

Look Closer

Cameron Diaz is in Paris continuing her press tour for Knight & Day. But, she must be getting some shopping in. Look behind her...it's RZ's cutey bow-tie wearing assistant Brad!

Read This Yesterday

You know, the little story about Bret Michael's being pulled over in his tour bus. Drugs were found. This incident happened in my home state of Indiana. No Arrests were made, but, the drug bust was labeled as a Schedule II, which means (likely) coke and meth. I'm going to go ahead and treat this like a reality show I think is, well, really real thus choosing to believe only what I want to. I'm sure those weren't Bret's drugs, right? (Say it with me.) He had a brain hemmorhage for crying out loud. I know for a fact his doc would not prescribe meth. It was probably that big goofy guy on Rock of Love. What was his name? Amber? Big Mike? Yeah, it was probably his.

Oh Snooks

"The negative stuff? I get off on it. Because the only reason why people talk negative is because they're jealous. Every time they call me a midget, Oompa-Loompa, orange, they're just jealous. It makes me want to be more ridiculous and more stupid" -- Snooki in Rolling Stone.

Now This

Is the Situation! Awesome family ribbed turtleneck pic.

Paris N Nicki

P & N have been cruising around on a yacht enjoying a sisterly vacation this summer. Good for them, they seem to be having a great time. I had to post this pic because with all the recent Lohan hullabaloo, the news channel's love to refer to Paris's stint in prison and how it "really turned her around" and "taught her a lesson." Yep. It really did. I'm sure Lindsay will be just as, uh, reformed.

Mirlando!

Married last night! There is a good chance your kids will not be ugly.

So Much Television

I really need to talk about the new Real World. Thus far, it's pretty fantastic. Which, was much needed because they've sucked for so long and I thought that maybe, just maybe I was getting too old. (Thank goodness that's not the case) Phew. I was in Vancouver working the past few days and had the funniest comment said to me that I must share. There was much chatting going on about Real Housewives with my new friend G. Ramona is his favorite Real Housewife, and he had recently met Danielle and confirmed her crazy eyebrows and all over dramz-tastic attitude. Anyway, I asked him what all Real Housewife fans must know: Jill or Bethenny? Whose side are you on? And he takes a long dramatic breath (love that) and says "I don't know...it really tore apart the nation." Deadpan face. I died. Hilarious.

Hungover, Again

The Hangover, Part II starts shooting in Thailand this fall. Excited about the sequel? Or leave a good thing alone?

Jersey GTL

I meant WTF actually. These loony tunes are going to make 30K per episode now. Really? I guess MTV has extra funds lying around since they don't have to pay the cast of The Hills. These bronzed guido's and guidettes (new name = burritos?) are back next week, July 29th on MTV.

Beyond Mad

For Mad Men, that is. The new season starts this Sunday. YES. How hot is Christina H? Goodness.

Inception

Have you seen Inception? I heard it's good, yet, you have to pay attention to 'get it.' Oh, one of those. Intrigued.

Back Again

I've been traveling. Working. Traveling. Traveling. More work. But I'm back for a good spell. And ready to blog blog blog. 

New GG

Serena. Weerrrrrkkkk.

Christie Brinkley

Christie Brinkley keeps getting more and more beautiful. It totally annoys me when media/people/whomever make such a big deal about an older woman (please, she's 56) being gorgeous. If you take care of yourself, the older you get, the more glorious you look. Of course she's hot. She looks fantastic, so, what's the big deal? I can think of a lot of chicks older than me that are WAY hotter, so, get over it people. Age = Hotness.

Megan's Purse

Megan Fox has a huge purse. I say the bigger the better. Besides, the bigger your purse, the smaller your a*s looks. So, don't be surprised if my next purse is on wheels. Just saying.

Water For Elephants

I may actually go see this in the theater. I want to see it that bad. Even though Reese Witherspoon is in it. Still want to.

Just For Friday

A little Diane.

Giggle Giggle

I mean, it's just hilarious. Nice heels. And a bandaged knee too. Awesome.

WILLIAMS-SONOMA

75% off today on select items. There are some great serving bowls and table linens if you're in need of some housewares. How bad do I want to shop today?

Cute Carry It All

Rag & Bone. $195.

I love bags. I have them hanging everywhere. Best affordable tote: Urban Outfitters. Always reasonable, lined, and chic.

Mixed Buckle Tote. At Urban Outfitters for $58.

MK

Michael Kors. $250. Versatile for work and play.

A Little Getaway

Tom and Gisele's new home on the Pacific Coast. Or a small shopping mall? Nope, just a house. Where are they going to put the pool?

Dina Lohan = NutJob

Delusional Dina had this to say to In Touch:

“Lindsay actually wants to open up her own rehab center here (in Los Angeles) and a couple across the country to help other kids and celebs so they don’t fall through the cracks in this town. She mentioned it to me a couple of days ago. She’s really growing up."

I can't even comment on this.

ESPY AWARDS

Here are some pics from last nights ESPY awards. I had to post this pic of Danica Patrick with Landon Donovan...WTF?! What is going on with her HAIR?! Is she serious? Did she just get attacked by a mountain lion? A flobee? Or did Chris Bosh give her a noogie? It's making me giggle.

Did You Watch?

The end of The Hills? I thought it was brilliant how they showed that Kristen and Brody were indeed on a soundstage in LA. Here's the deal: Kristen and Brody relationship: totally fake as boyfriend/girlfriend. LO and her boyfriend: real. Audrina and Ryan C: completely fake (and not even believable anyway.) Stephanie and the biker dude: real. Audrina and Justin Bobby: A little of both. But, mainly real. Heidi and Spencer: Loony toons. Obvs. And I don't believe they are getting a divorce, they just want more attention.  My favorite part of The Hills: the long awkward pauses, which, proves that they aren't great actors but rather trying to remember what the h*ll there lines are. It's hilarious actually. All the silly drama: Kristen induced to sharpen her 'acting' skills. They all want to move on to bigger and better and maybe a few of them will get bit parts in B list movies. LC is the smartest of the bunch. She capitalized on her popularity at the right time and sells books and clothes. A lot of them. Good for her. I'm sure we haven't seen the end of the cast of The Hills. Just wait, if none of them can find work, they will be back with another season.

Fat Rate Per State

Below are listed the state obesity rates according to MSN: Where is your state?

1. Mississippi 33.8%

2. Alabama 31.6%

3. Tennessee 31.6%

4. West Virginia 31.3%

5. Louisiana 31.2%

6. Oklahoma 30.6%

7. Kentucky 30.5%

8. Arkansas 30.1%

9. South Carolina 29.9%

10. North Carolina 29.4%

11. Michigan 29.4%

12. Missouri 29.3%

13. Ohio 29.0%

14. Texas 29.0%

15. South Dakota 28.5%

16. Kansas 28.2%

17. Pennsylvania 28.1%

18. Georgia 28.1%

19. Indiana 28.1%

20. Delaware 27.9%

21. North Dakota 27.7%

22. Iowa 27.6%

23. Nebraska 27.3%

24. Alaska 26.9%

25. Wisconsin 26.9%

26. Illinois 26.6%

27. Maryland 26.6%

28. Washington 26.3%

29. Maine 25.8%

30. Arizona 25.8%

31. Nevada 25.6%

32. Virginia 25.5%

33. Minnesota 25.5%

34. New Mexico 25.5%

35. New Hampshire 25.4%

36. New York 25.1%

37. Florida 25.1%

38. Idaho 25.1%

39. Oregon 25.0%

40. Wyoming 25.0%

41. California 24.4%

42. New Jersey 23.9%

43. Montana 23.5%

44. Utah 23.2%

45. Rhode Island 22.9%

46. Vermont 22.8%

47. Hawaii 22.6%

48. Massachusetts 21.7%

49. D.C. 21.5%

50. Connecticut 21.4%

51. Colorado 19.1%

Are You Surprised?

We all know Vienna is special. Or, as my mom would say interesting. Whatevs. But, apparently she isn't the only liar in her previous relationship, or whatever she said Jake was in the reunion/on-TV breakup/Bachelor contract stipulation/confrontation. I couldn't follow her.

Her ex boyfriend told this to the Huffington Post: "We were in my truck hooking up, her shirt was off and Jake just kept calling over and over again," Lee told Radar. "She said, 'I can't just ignore his calls or he'll freak out and call every minute.'"

When Vienna finally took Jake's phone call, Lee said, "She's an amazing liar. She picked up the phone and started yawning and pretending she was sleeping." (HAHAHAHA! What?!) There is a little more to the article, if you want to read it, click here. Is anyone surprised by her ho-ish behavior? I'm not and if you are, that just goes to show how UNLIKABLE Jake is. Last weekend, Vienna was seen all around LA acting a hot mess. Flashing people (that's so weird, who flashes people anyway?!) and passing out at a Playboy mansion party. I bet your daddy is proud. (The one with the Christmas lights hanging over his Harley in the garage, that daddy) Okay, enough on her. 

Super Chic JJ

I love black and navy done right. Flawless. Love it. Mad Men new season starts on July 25th on AMC.

Crazy (allegedly) Kelly In Harper's Baazar

I don't know if she is technically crazy, but, her behavior doesn't help her constant MO that she "isn't crazy, or in therapy." Uh, okay. Just because you aren't in therapy doesn't mean you aren't a little wackadoo. Sane people that realize they need therapy, then go to therapy. Here are some glorious quotes from the totally normal, down-to-earth Kelly:

On the alleged breakdown:

"I'm embarrassed that I allowed myself to feed into it, but I don't think I would handle it differently. The ratings were amazing, so no, absolutely not... I don't have any regrets. I'm glad I went on 'Housewives' because the show has made me more known."

On her mental state:

"I am not crazy. I am unpredictable. I'm not in therapy."

On her costars:

"Whether it's my nail color, my hair color, or the shoes I'm wearing, everything about me bothers them. They want to go to the parties I go to, they want to hang out with me, they want to do the things that I'm doing."

On her March 2010 Playboy cover:

"With Playboy, I think I superseded Housewives. It was huge."

On moving forward:

"I'm 42, and I have this new life. Yes, I'm more mass market. And that's okay. It's my job....I've worked so hard. It wasn't always lollipops and unicorns. I tell my girls, 'Your mom gets paid to engage in inappropriate behavior.' It's an amazing opportunity for them to see that being mean is not okay. I tell them, 'If you're in a situation like this, walk out. Don't come back with jelly beans.'"

 

Married Too!

Javier and Penelope were married the beginning of July at a friends house in the Bahamas. If they choose to have children, they will not be ugly. Penelope is currently filming Pirates of The Carribean 4 and Javier will soon be everywhere promoting Eat, Pray, Love with Miss Julia Roberts.What a gorgeous couple.

This Is Awesome

I can't believe the caption wasn't:

BRISTOL'S BOMBSHELL! Sarah shoots myriad of moose and birds in an angry rage!

Well, that may be an exaggeration but still..hope it works out for the three of them.

Tahiti Is For Lovers (and rich people)

Here are Carrie and Mike on their honeymoon in Tahiti. Is it just me or does this guy have a ginormous head? I mean, I have a big head, but his looks pre-historic neanderthal-ish right? Carrie better turn around before he clubs her over the head, throws her over his shoulder, and schleps her back to the hut. Well, it is their honeymoon I guess.