Lets Talk About The Bachelor

The episode. Not actually Jake. I forced my husband to watch it with me (otherwise he sits and stares at Super Bowl coverage with tears in his eyes) and he had the best line of the evening...Me: Maybe Jake is gay. Lee: Are you serious? He is not cool enough to be gay. Good point Lee. Anyway. I'm not going to even talk about Gia because besides her smokin hot bod is totes boring. I love her pointing out The Empire State Building (the pointy thing) to Jake. Uh, thanks Gia. And over there...that's the Statue of Liberty...Great, wow. (you know, the lady with the pointy headband) Anyway, Ali is up next where she takes Jake to make out on her grandma's bed. Well, not really but they go to her granny's house and it's very moving. As in the vom was in my throat moving. Thanks Ali. Next, we get to go to Tenley's house...uh? TENLEY! Rule #1: Do not talk about the ex so much. Emotional baggae anyone? Oh memememe! I love emotional baggage. It's awesome. Other than the ex talk Tenley cracks me up. Does she cry skittles? When she toots is it bunnies and rainbows? Does she ever get angry? I don't think so. If she does it's probably like a cranky puppy. Is there such a thing? I'm not sure. Oh Tenley. Giggle. Last but not least is Vienna. Oh, another great line from Lee..."Why would you name your kid after a sausage? Not even a good kind of sausage." (Side bar: mmmm sausage) Vienna is trash-tastic. Nice outfit. Sweet garage with neon lights dangling on your sickle. Cool. My lady is a princess, blah, barf, lie. I wasn't sure if Vinny was her dad or the guy she ran off to Vegas with. Oh home town dates...You are always my favorite episode of the season. Now let's briefly touch on Ali leaving. First, totally loved her hot pink racer back with grey pants ensemble. Give it to me. Second, Jakes tears were brought on by which of the following: 1) he just found out they canceled 2 1/2 Men 2) the Barenaked Ladies broke up 3) the Barenaked Ladies announced a reunion tour. Not sure which one but the whole Ali leaving thing was weird. Whatevs. Maybe she just decided if he was going to keep that skank Vienna around she was over him. Who knows? Also, my other favorite part was in the preview for next week with him lounging in his white linen pants shirtless. There goes the vom again...