Good Riddance

Except he will now be dancing through our living rooms 18 times a week. I don't watch that show anyway, so, whatevs. I don't really know what to say about the finale of The Bachelor because I knew he was going to pick that trainwreck Vienna. Here's the bottom line: Jake is a geek. He is awkward and really really wants to bang hot chicks. Side note: I do not think Vienna is hot, but Jake's lack of coolness has forced him to think girls that look like Vienna (they can be found at your local hooters) are hot. They are not. But no one told him that, so we can't completely blame him. Jake sees himself as this fun, wild and crazy guy. Again, he's not. It's easy for us to see, but he wants to be someone else, thus his choice of Vienna (sorry, sausage). Jake suffers from what all girls between the ages of 18-22 suffer from...the nice guy syndrome. Remeber that guy you dated that was perfect? He had a great family, he had a good job, but something was missing? Well, that was Jake's Tenley. How many of those girls who leave the nice guy for a bad boy end up pregnant and miz? Probably 1 out of 3. People make bad decisions when they aren't mature enough to handle life decisions. It's an epidemic really. I wish Tenley Skittles would've stopped asking him what was wrong with her. NOTHING. Nothing is wrong with you. I couldn't date Tenley Skittles, she was a little too happy squeaky for me. But that's okay because I'm happily married and she should've ended up with Jake. Do you think Jakes mom is crying in her maxi dress? Probably. How cute was his dad? Beyond. Jake says it's okay if people don't understand why they are together. Well, good for you, moron. I've said it before...if NO ONE likes your significant other, that is a bad sign. No excuses. I speak from personal experience. Maybe Vienna is just misunderstood? Maybe her and Jake will get married and live happily every after. Maybe she had him at her first bag of boiled peanuts? I don't really want to comment on the actual episode last night because I'm just over it. However, a few things I did enjoy, the rare rays of figuritive sunshine that kept me watching: 1)The throw pillows at the resort. 2)St Lucia is really pretty and I want to go back some day and pick flowers for my hair 3) Did anyone see the 'promise ring' from her dad? It was hilarious. It looked like it carried Hep C for sure. 4) I wonder who told her not to wear eyeliner last night? Minor improvement. So now we wait to see if these two crazy kids get married. But then again, do we even care?