Oh hey mom...
You're my role model.
I can't believe people think I've had such a turbulent childhood.
Because you've always been such a good example!
That was really funny when you flipped off Dr Phil
and made fun of his clothes.
Let's go get drunk for your birthday.
That was fun getting drunk on your birthday.
I was partying last night too.
Just a few drinks with friends, so a normal night.
And, then I accidentally hit a dude in my porsche.
Porsche's are small cars so I know it didn't hurt him.
I can't believe he called the cops!
Ridiculous.
Anyway, I'm going to stay home for
a few days because you know how the media
likes to make everything up and will
probably say I was drinking or something...
Text me. I'll probably run out of 'supplies.'
Love, Linds
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